DIARRHOEA OF DESPAIR

i smell the foulness
of my warm breath
trapped by a face mask
i smell the antiseptic sharpness
of the hand sanitizer
i hear the loud beep of the
digital thermometer
my eyes are blur from scanning QR codes
these are not the best of times
indeed it is the flatulence of gloom
and the diarrhoea of despair

how long more?
how long more?

how long more do we have to suffer like this?
down to the last grain of rice
down to the last cube of sugar
down to the last morsel of food
down to the last ringgit in the purse
down to the last glimmer of hope

put up the white flag!
put up the white flag!

for the wira have failed us
they cook maggi mee for a photo op
to show they are in solidarity with the poor
but their larders are overflowing with food
and their pockets are jiggling with coins of gold
they cross boundaries and flout the SOPs
they dine in and host festive parties
and when we are starving, they tell us to pray

do you see the white flag!
do you see the white flag!

we are not surrendering
we are marching on
we have to help each other
we have to take care of ourselves
for our wira are too busy
trying to cling on to power
while dipping into the pot of gold
to even notice that we still exist

when is the hour and the day?
when is the hour and the day?

when will the saviour make his move?
when will judgment be delivered?
when will we be freed from this dungeon of doom?
when will light shine through this murky gloom?

LAM SENG FATT
July 1 2021

ODE TO SALLEH BEN JONED

i did not know you well
and i observed you from a distance
for you were walking in the hallowed halls
of intelligentsia and academia
and i was an outcast filled with demons
of insecurity, inadequacy and doubt
you could quote profound verses from books
that i had never heard of before
you could blurt out concepts of esoteric views
that i could barely understand
and i, like many others, could only
look at you with apprehension and awe

i heard the demons returned and haunted you
in your final hours even as your great mind faded
you were tormented by the fear
that you had not done enough
that you had not achieved enough
that you did not change the people
let me reassure you so you may sleep in peace
you have done famous (and infamous) things
that nobody in this generation can ever do
you have written things sacred and profane
that nobody in this generation can ever compose
i have looked far and wide and found not one soul
who can equal the depth of your knowledge
the brilliance of your tortured mind
or do your legendary sacrilegious deeds

you did not fail the people
but the people failed you
for they were contented
with the goodie bags
filled with money and KFC
handed out by their wira
chanting their hypnotic mantra
of holy books, religion and race

LAM SENG FATT
Nov 2 2020