ODE TO SALLEH BEN JONED

i did not know you well
and i observed you from a distance
for you were walking in the hallowed halls
of intelligentsia and academia
and i was an outcast filled with demons
of insecurity, inadequacy and doubt
you could quote profound verses from books
that i had never heard of before
you could blurt out concepts of esoteric views
that i could barely understand
and i, like many others, could only
look at you with apprehension and awe

i heard the demons returned and haunted you
in your final hours even as your great mind faded
you were tormented by the fear
that you had not done enough
that you had not achieved enough
that you did not change the people
let me reassure you so you may sleep in peace
you have done famous (and infamous) things
that nobody in this generation can ever do
you have written things sacred and profane
that nobody in this generation can ever compose
i have looked far and wide and found not one soul
who can equal the depth of your knowledge
the brilliance of your tortured mind
or do your legendary sacrilegious deeds

you did not fail the people
but the people failed you
for they were contented
with the goodie bags
filled with money and KFC
handed out by their wira
chanting their hypnotic mantra
of holy books, religion and race

LAM SENG FATT
Nov 2 2020